Mid-Semester(ish) Reflection

After leaving Gregg Olsen’s presentation yesterday, I couldn’t help but think about how much my life has changed since August. For me the TA position has carried so much more with than just the opportunity to teach—I have had the opportunity to truly be a member of this community. I have been going to BSU since 1999, but I only managed to live in Boise my first two years (which are such a whirl wind to begin with!). By the time I was used to living in Boise and being on campus regularly, it was time for me to back to Parma, where I’m from. My undergraduate experience was a rushed one—I worked two to three jobs, managed to have all of my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays (I would start at 7:40 and would finish with a night class), and drove an hour each way. Needless to say, there wasn’t much time for me to actually just be on campus with other students. I had very little interaction with my instructors, and I felt completely intimidated by them (this is why one of my personal teaching goals is to be accessible to my students). There is much that I regret about my undergrad experience.

I took two years off before I applied to the graduate program. I had also applied for a TA position, but did not get it. I contemplated even coming back after that; after all, my goal was to teach, and I didn’t know how it would affect my future that I did not receive the position. But after examining my situation at the time (I was managing a tire store—odd, right?), I figured I would still go and would see what happened. After my first semester I was glad to be back in school and was no longer afraid to speak up in class or talk to my instructors, but something didn’t feel quite right. The next semester I signed up for two rhet/comp classes to see what they were about (Mike’s research methods class and Michelle’s theories class). After the first day, I knew that was where I belonged. I again applied for the TA position, and again, was turned down. At that point I was completely discouraged—I figured it was my last shot to get my foot in the door. And although I’m still not sure why, I went and talked to Mike about it, and he offered me a spot in the Center—an opportunity I didn’t even know existed but has changed my life, how I view writing, and how I write. Mike, of course, was the one who helped me get into the TA position now, and although I knew it would be beneficial for my future, I had no clue that it would affect me as much as it has.

I am now on campus every day of the week—something I love. Because I’m on campus as much as I am, I have had the opportunity to actually get to know the people around me, and I’ve been able to participate in things like when Bartholomae was here and yesterday when Gregg Olsen was here. This would not have been possible for me last semester—I was only on campus on Monday and Tuesday night. There is just so much more that I’m getting out of my own education because of this TA position. And I, of course, am feeling so blessed because I’m enjoying teaching so much. (I thankfully have a terrific group of students!) I felt ashamed last week after I caught myself complaining about how much work I had to do that weekend, and I thought it would be a good idea to contemplate on how thankful I am to be where I am. I realized that I am thankful for so many reasons, one of which I hadn’t anticipated: I feel a sense of self-preservation by being here. This really is one of the few things left that I have that makes me still feel like myself; it has been so easy for me to slip off and get overwhelmed by my other responsibilities that I have with my family and the business. Having said all of that, I better get back to work…